Everything I pick up today seems to have a ‘best before’ date on it and some of them just seem to make my head so empty that my eyeballs rattle inside it. I know I’m a simple man who is steered through life using logic but when did water start to “go bad”? I never remember busting the lid off a bottle of water and near puking at the smell of rancid H20 or getting half way through it before realising I’d just copped a bad one and heading for the nearest toilet, have you? 

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When was the last time you opened a tin of peas without checking the date and going “uh ohhhh”, this one’s past its best before date, lucky I didn’t eat that!”? Never. That’s when, because that kind of food was designed to be eaten by the cockroaches who survived the nuclear holocaust to devour when the tins rust away in a thousand years and not get sick. 

It seems like everything gets run through the best before dating machine these days and I wouldn’t be surprised if we start seeing bags of air for sale soon in the shops with, you guessed it, a best before date on it. Take a deep breath while it will still last forever.